One of the most prominent considerations in the automotive industry is that passenger and driver safety can never be overlooked. OEMs and their suppliers are constantly innovating in this field in order to find better ways of protecting us. But what if cars had their own terrifying killer instincts? What if the driver was a mad psychopath with designs on your death? Sometimes, nothing can keep you safe from the most nefarious and sinister cars on the streets, so, to prepare for All Hallows’ Eve this weekend, we break down the top five evil vehicles to watch out for when trick or treating by the roadside.
#5 – 1941 Chevy COE (Jeepers Creepers – 2001)
Otherwise known as “The Creeper Truck”, this rusted 1941 Chevy COE (Cab over Engine) truck would be an unfortunate thing to encounter on a road trip. If you are unlucky enough to see this intimidating and frightening vehicle in your rearview mirror, you can expect to come to to a gruesome and violent end, as its driver is a terrifying man-eating demon on the hunt for its next meal. This classic, practical beast is probably fitted with a supercharged 383 Chevy crate motor, allowing it to attain speeds of at least 100 mph, but also boasts a threateningly loud horn and a number plate that reads “BEATNGU” (“Be Eating You”), making it the perfect choice of corpse carrying motor for the discerning cannibal. Between meals, it might even serve as a perfect delivery vehicle for small auto parts, but it’s unlikely to pass border control without raising suspicion.
#4 – 1971 Lincoln Continental Mark III Coupe – (The Car – 1977)
Thinking about hitchhiking or cycling around Mexico this weekend? Well, just make sure to avoid this jet black customized 1971 Lincoln Continental Mark III, because it’s probably on a deadly rampage. Reportedly possessed by Satan himself, this machine will stop at nothing until it runs you over or crushes you, particularly if you insult its driving ability. Your only chance to avoid its wrath is to head to hallowed ground, such as a cemetery or churchyard, or bait it into driving off a cliff, but just be aware that the Devil knows no bounds, and will probably return to finish the job if you manage to escape. Still interested in the new wave of driverless cars? I didn’t think so.
#3 – 1955 Peterbilt 281 – (Duel – 1971)
Representing the heavy vehicle segment, this overbearing 1955 Peterbilt 281 tanker truck is not something you want to be passing on a quiet desert road. When David Mann decided to overtake this slow, gas-guzzling machine during a business trip, he had no idea he was risking his life until the unseen driver attempted to trick him into a fatal collision, run him off the road into a train, and crush him in a telephone booth. The Truck Driver was clearly experiencing road rage at its most deadly, eventually resulting in his own lethal plummet off a cliff, so make sure to keep your tempers under control on the roads or you may meet the same grizzly fate.
#2 – 1971 Chevy Nova SS (Death Proof – 2007)
Ladies beware! If you catch a glimpse of this menacing Chevy Nova, be prepared to run the other way. This machine has been converted into a homicidal kill box by a psychotic former Hollywood stuntman, and he’s on the prowl for female victims. The driver’s side of the car is fitted with enough safety features to make it 100% “death proof”, but if you end up being a passenger during one of Stuntman Mike’s staged “accidents” then you’ll be added to his list of successful femicides as he emerges from the wreckage with barely a scratch. While cars in the real world are not yet completely “death proof”, perhaps OEMs could learn a thing or two from Stuntman Mike’s flawless safety designs.
#1 – 1958 Plymouth Fury (Christine – 1983)
Well-deserving of the top spot, Christine is the most violent and devilish car ever created. From the moment she was manufactured, this blood red Plymouth Fury’s desire to see her human victims suffer was immensely strong, satiating her bloodlust by slamming her own hood on a worker’s hand before suffocating another in the cabin. Once she hit the road, her dangerous and vengeful obsession with her owner led to the attempted suffocation of his date, the successful slaying of a number of bullies (whilst on fire no less), and the impalement of a teenager on a shard of glass. What’s more disconcerting is her supernatural ability to self-repair at will, even after a severe gang vandalization leaves her apparently damaged beyond repair. Even so, this kind of feature could potentially convince car buyers to overlook the negative murderous tendencies of a demonic, possessed car.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN FROM MEXICO AUTOMOTIVE REVIEW